she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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