if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
