its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize