So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
