It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
