do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
