and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
