So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
