can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
