Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
