Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
