ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
