I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
