the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
