Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
