I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want to make out with him forever
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
