he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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