he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
