You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
