I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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