Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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