I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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