I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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