Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
