You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
