i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
is wine microwaveable?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She's the barista slut.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
