no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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