so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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