U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
