My room smells like vodka and shame
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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