p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
