i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
