i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
