Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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