I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Shame - the story of my life.
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