i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
