did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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