So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
