I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
