It's Friday. Sex?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
