Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
