I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
