It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
