I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Damn victory sex feels great
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
