The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
