I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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