so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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