Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
