why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
