we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
