Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
